Packing, Procrastination, Pinterest, and Pain

I should be packing right now.

That's what everyone wants to read when they first start reading a blog, right?

There are a lot of things I would rather do than pack. Obviously, writing is one of them. Coming from a girl who has moved more times than pairs of shoes she owns (Ladies, you get the picture), packing is painful.

Why, you might ask? Well, let me tell you.

I like Pinterest for many reasons. Among the scrumptious-looking recipes which I probably won't all get around to making, one of the reasons includes seeing absolutely stunning scenery of various locations around this earth. I love clear, blue oceans; white sand; green, luscious mountains; and gravity-defying cliffs. It has become a trend, I believe, to travel or to post that you so desire to on Pinterest. People want to explore, discover, experience something beautiful, new, and curious.  I get it. God created a beautiful world. Go enjoy His creation. You tell me you want to travel, so do I. I just don't want to pack.

There's something about packing. It's hard to put my finger on it, maybe you could do a better job of it than I.  So what is it about packing?
Maybe it's because that's when most of the tears flow.
Perhaps it's when all the memories flash like a movie with a broken pause button.
Or when things must be left behind and their people with them.
How about when it symbolizes that something must end before something  new begins?

Packing isn't easy. Neither is the courage to say hello in a new place. Or to share a piece of your heart and time to try to make a friend. To spend time with a group of people who have known each other all along. Or to make memories that you will cherish for the rest of your life. To let down your roots in effort to grow, relax, and regenerate. Or to fall in love with a place. To flourish. Or to find out there's a new destination that warrants the loss of the old one. To pack. And to repeat.

Over and over again.

I'm packing to move across a town of around 10,000 people. Then why does it hurt just as much as it does to move across a continent? Packing isn't just packing for me. It's psychological. It's emotional. It's physical. It's a reminder. It's painful. 

Back to Pinterest, one of the most irritating and beautiful pins I have seen is a picture of a map with a certain quote.

1. Why is it irritating? Mostly because it tends to fall in the same boards as those travel pictures. Overall, I find it ironic(noun. a contradiction, oxymoron, etc). I'm not hating. I will freely admit that I have a board on my own Pinterest of beautiful places God has made. See a picture of a place that would be cool to check out? Pinned it! You know that's right. (Thus this concludes the ranting part of this post concerning Pinterest)
2. Why is it beautiful when I find it so irritating? I've mentioned this to other missionary kids, but this particular quote has brought some reassurance to my life. A reassurance that has promised no more packing, no more pain. 

 There's a funny little concept called home. I've written about it before. It's a topic of confusion for most missionary kids and/or third culture kids. We've packed so many times, the idea of home (and the sense of security, comfort, and identity that comes with it) becomes blurred and obscure. It becomes something we might spend our lives chasing after or running from. Here's the thing though. We weren't made to get comfortable on this earth. We weren't created with the purpose of staying here forever. We were made to spend an eternity in Heaven. Thankfully, through faith in Jesus Christ and the salvation He brought us, this is possible. When you think about it, what could we possibly put our sense of security, comfort, and identity in on this earth that won't eventually fade away? What remains other than God? He doesn't change. What could be a better home?  For a girl that's lived in 3 countries, 3 cultures, many houses, and traveled through 8 countries, this is one of the sweetest things I'll ever hear.  I'll be home. This one I don't have to pack for.

So that pin I was talking about? With that quote?

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” - C.S. Lewis

Back to square one, I still haven't finished packing. I probably won't for a while.  When my brother and I move into our apartment, which will bring us closer to school, we'll get to unpack and start again. As for all those places I've pinned on Pinterest, I still want to go there. Places are breath-taking. People are beautiful.
I get it. You've told me you want to travel, so do I. I just don't want to pack.

"Our citizenship is in heaven..." -Philippians 3:20